Rabbit food will kill you.  It claims more victims everyday.  I stumbled upon an article claiming that 55% of consumers order a salad when dining out.  The number is far higher than it used to be and shows no signs of falling.  Is it that salad is the only affordable choice left on the menu?  Are vegetarians sucking souls out of more and more people?

One of the issues is that people are ordering salads to be healthy.  I am living proof that salads are in fact unhealthy- I maintain my 5% body fat figure by not ordering them.  Years ago it was really easy to do this, to not order salads, simply because they all sucked.  Chopped iceberg or a mesculin mix with a cliche dressing that was conceived hundreds of years ago is not enticing.  However as time goes on, and salads improve, the obesity epidemic increases.

Restaurants are to blame for this fiasco.  Salads offer a high profit margin, so it is wise to make enticing options that would encourage consumers to buy in.  Most people order a salad because it looks new and interesting- what makes a salad new and interesting is the addition of lipids.  The first wedge, a classic steak house salad, I ever ordered, was iceberg with diced tomato, chunky bleu cheese dressing, and freshly ground black pepper to order on a chilled plate.  Now when I travel and order a wedge out, it has all those wonderful things plus candied walnuts and bacon.

Like pizza, people order salads for the toppings- prosciutto, won tons, cheese, fried goat cheese medallions, hard meats, bacon, duck confit, candied nuts- even fried chicken.  These things, especially summed, are not good for you.  On top of it all, there is dressing, which has also taken a turn for the worse.  Dressings are made thicker and creamier than ever.  Even vinaigrettes are being made with bacon grease instead of olive oil, a heart healthy lipid.

In the rare event that a salad has some nutritional redeeming qualities- coming from spinach, fruit, or vegetables- people leave them on the plate!  They eat all the goodies off the top then have the rest taken away after sucking any dressing on the plate up with a straw.  It isn't much better than kids drinking bottles of ranch with a carrot stick- I'm convinced Hidden Valley is really the valley of death.  Without the rabbit food component, salads can be less filling because there would be less fiber consumed from not eating [for example] spinach.

I did some research on popular lunch venues- Einsteins, Jason's Deli, Panera, Rumbi, Wendys, Quiznos, and Cosi to see just how bad some salads were.  You can check out some selections here.  There are tons of salads near or over 1000 calories with 60-100 grams of fat.  This exceeds the calories and fat of an original thickburger from Hardees, which includes 1/3 lb black angus beef, tons of mayo, and cheese.  The salad doesn't have as much protein either.  A salad should be a healthy alternative to a burger, not a nutritional substitute.

In college, I would satisfy my salad cravings with nothing more than spinach and red wine vinegar, occasionally adding some chick peas or hard boiled egg, and of course black pepper.  It is a very simple, healthy salad, but won't cut it for most of you.  When you're making salad at home, think about what defines a salad- a mixture.  A salad does not always have to be greens with goodies on top.  Think about the use of beans, fruit (like a Thai green papaya salad), and when using greens make sure they're extra dark.  When ordering out stick to vinaigrettes and honey mustard dressings.  Also, leave some goodies on the plate for the bus boy and refrain from rubbing your courtesy loaf of bread all over the plate.  Whatever you do, don't get killed by your salad.