There comes a time in a man's- a gastrosexual's- life where he has to satisfy a need of cooking.  I am such a man, I have needs.  Cooking for one just doesn't cut it- a mere nicotine patch for my craving.  Still, I can't let anyone know of my addiction.  I need an excuse.  No one's [locally] birthday is around.  Don't owe anyone any favors.  I check out all of Hallmark's card categories.  "Just Because - Friendship."  It's thin, but it's worth a shot.  I make the call.  Crap.  I actually have to come up with something good now.

Time to devise a menu.  Party of four, so it'll be easiest to do a roast or single large protein.  I get the recipe for DY's brisket- a VT favorite.  Virginia may not be best known for its BBQ, but DY is from Kansas, which makes it perfect.  Not only does it taste better when it's cold outside, but brisket goes great with mashed potatoes.  Can't make just any mashed potatoes-  flavor with duck fat and horseradish- it will help cut through the sweetness of the brisket.  Green is TBD. Dessert is TBD.

As time draws near I get hit with a third staph infection since August- on my foot.  Can't walk very far or stand for long periods of time.  This is fine since most of these dishes will be lassiez-faire.  The problem is, I need a starter for the meal and another trip to the grocery store is not going to happen.  There's one thing I can always make without having to go shopping- French onion soup.

Thankfully, French onion soup is another lassiez-faire dish- all the work will be done while my foot is elevated on the couch.  I think French onion soup recipes can be very intimidating to first timers.  The need for a gross of onions boggles the mind.  The hardest part is understanding that a pot overflowing with onions wll become a pot near empty of sweet, caramelized onions.

I don't care what anyone else says- this transformation cannot be done in 15 minutes.  If you can make that happen- send video evidence.  The above pictures were taken 45 minutes apart- which I think is fairly quick.  An hour should be spent reducing the onions.  Just need half a stick of butter and to resist the urge to salt the rings of glory.  Salting onions draws out moisture and makes them translucent- can't do it here.

At this point, I add balsamic vinegar and port wine to deglaze and flavor the onions.  Since I spent a lot of time on the couch, there were tons of goodies stuck on the bottom of the pan.  Stirring would have prevented this.  Oops.

Time for the final stretch.  I hobble over to the pantry to get my last [tear] box of beef broth, bouquet garni, and bacon out of the fridge.  The box fills the pool- the bouquet swims in the pool- the diced bacon drowns in the pool.  Simmer for an hour.

Before the party arrives, I make croutons in my toaster oven.  Slice a baguette, toast at '6', then for a twist, rub with a clove of garlic.  I don't care if these get cold because the soup and broiler will make them warm again.  Cheese time.  I grate the gruyere- the most work I've put in today.

With a now fatigued forearm, I ladle the soup into bowls.  Place 2-3 croutons on top of each.  Cover with cheese.  Broil on high and voila- french onion soup.

In short-

French Onion Soup

• 3 Large Yellow Onions
• 1 Box of Beef broth
• 1/4 Cup Port Wine
• 2 TBL Balsamic Vinegar
• Garlic
• Baguette, sliced
• Bouquet Garni
• 4 Strips of Bacon, diced
• Gruyere cheese, grated
• Salt and Pepper to taste

1. Slice the onions and pile into a stock pot with half a stick of butter on medium low heat for an hour or until properly browned.
2. Deglaze the pan with balsamic vinegar and wine.  Reduce by half.
3. Pour in the box of broth.  Add the bacon and bouquet garni.
4. Simmer for at least an hour.
5. Taste for seasoning.
6. Toast the bread and make garlic toast.
7. Fish out the bouquet.  Ladle the soup into bowls. 
8. Place the garlic toast on top.  Cover with cheese.  Broil on high until cheese is burnt.
9. Devour.