Tonight [Saturday] is all about UFC 100.  Only thing that can make a fight better, is some serious dude food.  I can't let the TV showcase the all of the  best knockouts of the night-- I need to lay some out on the table.  Since the best sports party food I can think of is Mexican, I'm going to do another tribute to Rick Bayless to get the job done right.

Most of the inspiration comes from whichever episode of Everyday Mexican was on TV Friday morning.  I spyed nose of the dog salsa, featuring tomatoes, habaneros, and radishes.  Habaneros are definitely knock out material.  He also made a really good looking braised pork, but this recipe is too much to remember, so I use the concept as inspiration.  A beef dish should accompany as well-- we all need our daily dose of iron.

Gucamole is going to be another necessity, but it can't be another boring guacamole.  Long ago I made an avocado salad to top skirt steak.  I'm confident that I can refine these flavors to make a great guacamole.  In case the habanero salsa isn't enough for everyone, I'm going to make a salsa verde as well.  I've been craving salsa verde since my neighbors make some of the best, so this better work out.

This isn't as masochistic of a menu as some may think.  I'm going to have a lot of inactive cooking time with the meats.  While they're braising, I can prep the salsas or even clean my home.

First, four hours before the fight, I start the short ribs.  I need to brown them in [3] batches, make a braise, and forget about them in the oven for at least 3 hours.  If they go longer, nothing bad can really happen.  If people run late, I can just leave the meat to continue braising.  No sweat at all.

After the ribs are browned, I sauté some chile de arbol, onion, and mushrooms in the same pot.  These are followed by beef stock, canned diced tomatoes, a head of garlic, thyme, and white beans.  The short ribs are returned to the pot, the pot is covered, and it hangs out in the oven at 325 Dg.

While the short ribs need at least 3 hours to braise, the pork needs at least 2.  So I now have an hour to brown the pork and make a braising liquid for it.  There's also plenty of time to start one of the salsas.

Salsa verde is the easiest salsas to make.  I don't think anyone believes that I make the whole thing in my toaster oven.  First I lay a sheet of tin foil down.  Next, I place six husked tomatillos, two whole shallots, a couple cloves of garlic, and several serrano chiles with the stem cut off.  I drizzle olive oil over the top, season with salt and pepper, then fold the foil into a neat package.  I put them in the toaster oven for an hour-ish at 350 Dg.

While the salsa verde ingredients are roasting, I brown the pork.  I have pork butts, but any shoulder or tough cut would suffice.  After browning the pork, I brown onions, and Hungarian wax peppers in the same pot.  While the aromatics are cooking, I dissolve brown sugar into a cup of water-- the microwave helps a lot.  After the vegetables are cooked, I put the pork back in the pot, with diced plantains, then cover in the brown water.  Cover with a lid, and put in the oven.

Now, the ribs have gotten their head start, the pork is starting to cook, and the ingredients for the salsa verde are ready to come out of the toaster oven.  To finish the salsa verde, I dump all of the ingredients, including juices in the foil, with cilantro in a blender.  I blend.  Done.  The longer it sits, the better it gets.

I now have two-ish hours until people arrive.  Still too early to make guacamole, so I make the salsa.  Like every other tomato salsa, I start with half a dozen roma tomatoes, sans seeds.  Shocked diced red onion follows.  Running the onion under cold running water allays the product's pungency.  Super finely diced habanero follows, along with radish matchsticks.  The dish is finished with fresh cilantro and lime juice.  Now it's ready for guests.

The final dish to prepare is the guacamole.  I've seen Rick grill his guacamole components in the past so I figure I'll give it a try.  Well, I'll try it as best as I can, since I don't own a grill.  I sauté diced red onion with garlic, then set it aside to cool.  During this time, I toast almonds in the toaster oven for about 9 minutes.  All that's left is to dice a serrano chile, cilantro, mash some green guys, and produce orange supremes.  I finish the mash with lime juice and salt, then top with toasted almonds. 

That's everything.  I'm done.  You can find me on the couch.