Given my busy travel schedule I generally don’t have much time for television.  No, I don’t have a TiVo or whatever it is kids are playing with these days.  My last project manager would always comment, “How do YOU not have TiVo?”  How do you not use Twitter?  We all have our priorities.

There is however, one brilliant showcase of amateurism out there that I cannot keep away from, Whale Wars.  For those unfamiliar, this is a weekly hour long peek into the daily routine of the MV Steve Irwin and crew, whose goal is to stop the Japanese empire from hunting various whales in the Antarctic region.  I of course, root for the Japanese.

Have these people ever sampled whale sashimi?  It’s delicious.  But what amazes me, is how a crew of hippies can sacrifice their fresh wheat grass juice and vegetables for an undetermined amount of time (undetermined because they often risk running out of fuel and being left for dead in an icy tomb), can embark on a journey requiring a specific set of skills that almost none of them have.  Lacking talent is okay as long as you’re enthusiastic, right?

I’ve seen Deadliest Catch a few times, and there are trained professionals that lose limbs and risk death, as the name implies, for the sake of crustaceans.  As such, it's a miracle this amateur crew is as unscathed as they are.  At least the Deadliest Catch crew get to feast upon the fruits of their labor.

There is another show out there, that I’ve started to watch regularly for the first time, similar to Whale Wars—The Next Food Network Star. Now I’m aware that the challenges are far harder than they seem, but a few nuggets of brilliance (from trained professionals) aside, it’s amateur hour.  Some episodes are more rough than others, but last week, when they had to conquer the ‘Ultimate American Meal,’ almost everyone crumbled.  I’ll admit that the long haired dude who got stuck with lobster and blueberries got the short end of the stick.  Most I thought of, was to make a salad, but it’d be a stretch.

I was shocked at other finalists that got gold mines, especially the kielbasa basket.  Am I the only Pollock watching? Beer and mustard to boot as well?  I’m so jealous! All of those ingredients are brilliant on their own to begin with.  If you don’t believe me, check out this take on kielbasa and sauerkraut.  Substitute the cider for beer and you would have had a winner, with time to spare, last week.

The following is one pot comfort food for me.  The longer it sits the better it gets as well—I’ve considered bottling it and storing like a fine wine.  First step is to slice the kielbasa into manageable pieces, and brown in a pot with a touch of oil.  While the sausage is browning, dice equal parts of white potatoes and golden delicious apples, as well as an onion or handful of shallots.

Once the kielbasa is properly browned, add the onion and sauté for a few minutes.  Then add the apple and do the same, then add the potato and do the same.

Since I am using a pound of sausage, a pound of potatoes, and a pound of apples, I find it fitting to now add a pound of sauerkraut.  Some grandmas strain or wash this first to make the dish less salty.  I’m not overly concerned with that.  Stir everything together then cover with 1-1.5 cups of apple cider, or if you’re competing on the Next Food Network Star, beer.  Bring to a simmer and cover, cook for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, everything is edible.  The longer it cooks the more delicious it will be.  Ideally, now would be a good time to put it in the fridge and eat the next day.  For those without that luxury, we can top the dish and consume.

After plating, cover with shredded [cheddar] cheese, sour cream, and yellow mustard.  I usually cut back on the sour cream, but it’s always an available topping at my house.  This would be a good time to have pierogies on the plate as well.  Lastly, devour.

Like most Polish food, there's a lot of white on white.