Time to Diet
Monday, May 17, 2010 at 8:57AM Right now, I'm wasting hours of my life in ORD because my morning flight decided to leave without me. The plane didn't have enough fuel to make the trip due to bad weather conditions and weight restrictions. Instead of cancelling the entire flight, the solution was that six 6 of the 52 paying customers, for a plane that seats 48, not get on.
I'll admit, I've gained some weight since the days of living on Gatorade powder mix (no water) for wrestling season, but I don't think it's been unreasonable. The lemonade of this equation, is that I have some time to myself that I wouldn't normally have. I have time to think about life--I never intended to end things after a milestone post. I've been quite busy--haven't been in a kitchen since the baingan--and am in a creative funk.
Despite what the local thermometer reads, the seasons are changing, and I have access to one of the top 10 farmer's markets in the country again. Unfortunately, there isn't much, in terms of produce, other than rhubarb and asparagus. This awkward purgatory should end soon, just as canned goods expire, and I'll be cooking again.
There is one idea I've had, inspired by Cinco de Mayo, that I almost made, but nixed because I knew I wouldn't want to eat it. It's one of those fancy concept dishes--something I like to think would exist if our karma police weren't in a donut coma.
First, we have to think back to the Battle of Tours by the Franks in 732. You may need a kilo of that ginko stuff, but I'm sure you'll get there. Victory is credited to the bakers, who were up at odd hours working, while everyone else had yeasty dreams of their efforts. The bakers were able to alert the guard and fend off the Turk's siege. Not having the foresight that they may ever be on the losing side of battle, the French bakers crafted the croissant, the country's future symbol of pride, modeled after the crescent on the Turkish flag, as a culinary manifestation of 'F&@k you guys!'
Over a thousand years later, on the fifth of May, the Mexican army, who had the same survival chances as sorbetti in a salamander, beat down the French at the Battle of Puebla. My concept dish is--what Karmatic food would the Mexicans make?
I don't think it would be anything original--that takes too much time away from margaritas. I think the simplest solution is to deface France's symbol of pride by torta-izing it with local ingredients. The ingredients need to be green, white, and red just like the Mexican flag. A croissant filled with a red, fiery base of chorizo; white, fatty chihuahua cheese; and green, buttery avocados. There's countless ways to execute--of course none of them would be good for my diet. But I'm open to ideas.
Reader Comments (4)
dear mr stash,
as one of you readers and viewers, i must scoff at your delusions of weight gain and need to diet. everyone's body transforms from the times of high school & collage competitive sporting. and may i reference your previously posted "quick chilaquiles" vlog in which your biceps could hardly be contained in your t.
and as far as your mexican croissant is concerned, per usual, purely & simply more classic stashwick nonchalant genius. i want 2. and a side of horchata panna cotta please.
not a moment of your life was wasted at ORD. thanks for posting.
Sign me up for one of those croissants! While I am sorry you were stuck at ORD this morning, I am glad it inspired you to write. Good post. As for your being on (cough, cough) diet, that may interfere with my dining, so kindly abandon the idea, darlin'. Your dining crew will thank you!
T-1000 does not diet, he morphs.
In the end, it's just another way to introduce butter to an already excellent sandwich.
I do appreciate everyone's concerns over my health, especially the sincere ones. And thanks for putting up with me during a very busy time--have to take care of all the day job related stuff to make everything else happen.